I personally think that this question can only be seen from different perspectives. Is it really right for a guy to spend endlessly on a girl simply because they are in a relationship that MAY or will HOPEFULLY lead to marriage? Lets consider these from a Yes/No perspective

Well, Yes, a guy should pay a girl’s bills for the following reasons and in the following circumstances

A man who wants to get married should have enough money to cater for “his woman”

Inasmuch as the relationship is not about money, a man who intends to get married to the woman he is dating should have what it takes to at least fend for few of a woman’s needs. The man should know that marriage comes with responsibilities and if he cannot care for a single woman, how much more a woman and children, plus all those expenses that come with marriage and fatherhood. Spending on her is an indication that you have no intentions of stressing out the woman who’s gonna bear your children and your name. It shouldn’t just be about professing “dry love” for her. Chairman, do something!

A man will only spend money on something that matters to him

No matter how broke the man may be, if he loves a woman, he will find a way to spend, out of his “poverty”, on her. This is because your heart lies where your treasure is. Most of the financially poor couples who live happily together are able to find happiness with themselves because they understand each other very well, more so, they know that their partners would do more for them if they have the wherewithal. If a man CANNOT spend on a woman, it could be an indication that he cares less about her; no matter how it is seen or perceived.

It goes a long way to prove the man’s sense of responsibility

This is Africa and we all know and agree that the man is the head of the family. If in a relationship, a man cannot pull his fiancee out of financial stress (where necessary), how much more in marriage? So being a man or a husband is not just about bearing a male name, it also involves having a “manly” pocket too. lol. Spending much on a woman you are dating especially when she needs it, providing for her needs – especially pressing needs- is an indication that the man is a “husband material – 12 yards, veritable real wax”. lol!

On the other hand, here are reasons i feel a man is not obligated to spend money on his girlfriend/fiance


A woman should have a life of her own

A woman should have a complete life, such that with or without a man, she can survive. Dating a man should not be a life time opportunity or an avenue for anyone to make money, except if you are doing business together. Therefore, being a woman is not just about being born a female gender; it requires the productive use of two hands and ten fingers, and even a functional brain to produce money for yourself. If the man wants to spend on the woman, fine, that’s his business, but it should’t be a do or die affair because the body or relationship is neither for sale or at the instance of money. 

It’s an emotional relationship, not a job opportunity

Being in a relationship where marriage may be intended is not meant to just be a financial relationship. Every woman wants to be treated well with different gifts and all that, but most importantly, the value of a gift should not be measured by its market worth but should be commensurate with the worth of the relationship. So, dating a man does not automatically means that he has inherited and bought all your financial hardships. It’s a relationship, not a job opportunity or business gateway. The notion of finding a man to handover the baton of your hardship to is not one that is fanciful. Use your hands: even physically disabled people make money nowadays.
A man shouldn’t be the only one to provide money
Although most of the financial responsibilities of any union rests on the man, but that is not an outright sanction or verdict that indicates that the woman should do absolutely nothing. A woman should also be a source of joy to her husband and to her family as a whole. If a woman cannot fend or provide her basic needs before marriage, how much more difficult will it be when she gets married? Moreover, if she can hardly sustain herself as a single lady, her potential husband should just get set to fix his hands in a cuff of unending needs that cannot be easily provided.
So, having said these, i gotta know your opinions. Do you think it is right, moral, necessary and/or obligatory for a man to provide all or most of a woman’s needs simply because they are in a relationship? Let’s hear you please.

12 COMMENTS

  1. Love is not biased. Having it in mind that love shouldn't be centered around the man only as both parties are involved. Therefore, if both loves, they should share with each other, support each other and also and be kind enough to each other too but sacrosanctly, the man should know without being told that he has more of the responsibilities to take care of if not God purpose in regard to this will be defeated. Remember, the man has more ribs while the woman is just with single powerful rib Lolz

  2. In biblical view, any man who cannot provide for his family is worst than an infidel, a man who can't provide for a girlfriend or fiancee while they are dating wont do so even if they are married. Love is generous, if you love me, it shouldn't be by mere saying, you must prove it by your action.

  3. Thank God you are not being biased here.. when it come to relationship or marriage both parties should support, care and share with each other. The marriage/relationship will go smooth and fine

  4. It's a relationship not even marriage, even if it's marriage is not the man responsibility to provide everything for the woman. If the woman wants the man to provide everything then she should be ready to belong to the kitchen lol.

  5. It's either a man spend on his woman or the man don't love the woman. that is just it. that is why i like you goldy, you can speak teh truth

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